How To Cope...

Over on eHow I ran across an article about Coping with Being a Coach's Wife. I thought it would serve as a great starting point for a regular series I will be starting called "the Ups and Downs". Check out the original article here. I have used the main points and added my thoughts and experiences.

1) Communicate with your spouse ~ We share a car so communication is key! I usually have to communicate that I am going crazy being in the house all day. He communicates only when and where he needs to be (mostly).

2) Get to know the game~ I know little about his main sport, football. I am competitive enough to enjoy the game in person, but please, do not make me watch film!

3) Acknowledge his commitment to the athletes~ I do acknowledge his commitment and am often annoyed that the parents don't! I love that he is a positive role model for those kids and that he is fulfilling one of his callings.

4) Be there~ Rain, sleet, snow, or heat (in Texas, sometimes all in the same night)we are there- smiling, cheering, and chatting with the other coaches' wives (my favorite part)!!!

5) Don't knock the traditions~ "Ya'll are doing WHAT pre-game? Uh, okay that is weird but whatever works!"

6) Talk beforehand about the "feelings" of wins and loses~ Getting my coach to talk about feelings is not going to happen. I know our plan... Get him in a "not happy but at least be polite mood" after a loss involves lots of bribery (food mostly) and never ever volunteer us for anything after the game, in case we lose. A win means an extra long kiss after the game, but right back to the field house to start up for next week.

7) Fulfill your needs~ I agree! I agree! I agree! Enjoy yourself! I am a stay-at-home mom, so getting involved in something "just for me" has been a necessity. I love having a coffee night with my girlfriends (i.e. other coaches' wives), being in a book club, and movie nights!

8) Develop tough skin~ Over the last two seasons, we have had to develop this tough skin everyone talks about. Between whispers, rude comments from passing strangers, and outright yelling, in both the stands and at grocery stores, you have to learn to leave it on the field, in hopes they will too.

9) Bite your tongue~ I learned this lesson when fans sitting next to me were cussing directly at my husband as he refereed a 7th grade B team basketball game. Yikes! I was out of there! Possessing a somewhat short temper, it took everything I had to pack my things up calmly. (Only to move to the opposing team side, which was even worse!)

Overall, I enjoy this lifestyle and I look forward to the "lessons." I think "coping" sounds a little more like an illness than a job. I do believe being a coach's wife is a blessing! I have the opportunity to support my coach in fulfilling his dreams, I get to be a positive influence on kids, and I love the tradition behind sports.